Sometimes I can hold back loving so much so that it won’t hurt so much to let go. Because truth to be told, God has called us to love without reserve, but at the same time, He asks us to release.
This is something I’ve been contemplating a lot lately. Sometimes my heart hurts so much with the reality that the people around me that I care about are in pain. The world is in pain. Everywhere you turn, someone is aching and someone is crying inside and just needing to be valued and loved. Sometimes God opens the door to extend that love, and sometimes He doesn’t give the opportunity, and we have no choice but to leave them in His hands and know that His love is so vast and so much greater than we can comprehend and He holds them in His hands.
Lately my heart has been so weary of the pain that surrounds me. I want so badly to fix it all for the people that I care about; that are close to me. But I can’t. It brings me to the edge of a place of vulnerable trust unlike any other. It’s one thing to trust Him with your own story. It’s another to trust Him with the stories of people you care about so much it just hurts. There’s a feeling of helplessness and vulnerability in that, and it’s an opportunity for a different kind of surrender.
It’s where I’ve been lately, and it’s not fun, to be perfectly honest. What does God ask of us in these places? I don’t always know what it looks like, and that frustrates me, to be perfectly honest. But sometimes I think He wants us in those frustrating places, when we honestly just don’t even know what to do with it all anymore…except turn to Him with hands uplifted and say, “Ok, God. Take it all. Take them…the ones that I care about and love. I know that you love them so much more and so much deeper than I ever could. So I trust You again to do what’s best.”
Sometimes all I want to do is be a fixer. I just want to do everything in my power to make it all better. But the truth is, that kind of attitude and fix-it attitude can totally mess up what God wants to do. Which is to bring each one of us to the cross, and face to face with Who He is for each of us. And for each of us to know Him, crucified. He’ll use whatever leads us to the cross.
That’s one thing when it’s just me…but when it’s someone that I love, I can hate it.
We can trust our God. He knows what He’s doing.
He is with us. Always.
Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.
27 Why do you complain, Jacob?
Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
my cause is disregarded by my God”?
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.